


It was Tuesday morning

by MoonsAndMorals



Category: LGBTQ in the 80s
Genre: Brother and sister angst, Homophobia, In my feels while writing this, Inspired by show It’s a Sin, M/M, Most stuff is just implied but the tags tell you enough, Siblings, Why does no one talk about the AIDS pandemic, the 80s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:14:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonsAndMorals/pseuds/MoonsAndMorals
Summary: My Oc Sam reflects on the passing of her gay brother in the 80s.Angsty one shot
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	It was Tuesday morning

It was a Tuesday morning when he knocked at precisely 9:46. His denim jacket was decorated with pretty coloured flowers that made up the rainbow contrasting the bleakness of the coming weeks. The man looked cool, he looked the same age as my brother. My brother who had been ostracised for his sexuality, my brother who I hadn’t spoken to in a year. 

If the man hadn’t been crying I would of thought him crafty and chilled but tears lay jagged across his cheeks slowly trickling like a waterfall. His auburn eyes met my widened pupils guilt pooled shamefully into their deep muddy puddles. For some reason I was scared while looking in to those eyes. Turns out I had good reason to be.

The concern only grew when my mother brushed me away grasping on to my spine in precise horrific pulls that tangled me up in a messy maze of prickling vines. She pulled that quick vile fake smile that made her shining dimples seem like monsters hidden inside the closet. The one that made me want to crunch in to myself because it’s existence was just so unfair. The conversation was spoken in hushed panicked tones with an occasional bitter squeal or pleading cry thrown in as if my mum and dad weren’t ruining someone’s goodbye. As if they weren’t ruining my goodbye. As if it wasn’t that important; but it was important I could tell it was. I could tell it was just by looking in to the mans pleading hopeful eyes. I didn’t question anything when the man left and my mothers eyes were rimmed with a blurry sore red and my dads were merged with both types of blue though. I just ate my dinner like normal as if everything was normal. I sat in the dollhouse crafted to keep people ‘normal’ chewing and sipping my fake stew with my porcelain crafted limbs desperately wishing my cracks wouldn’t shatter completely.

I did that cause I’m a bad person.

I’ve given up on wishing to not shatter because what’s the point if your already chocked and drowning in burning acid. When you always have been submerged in the bitter foolhardy liquid.My wish has changed from escaping the inescapable to blaming the blameless. How cruel and twisted must I be. I so wish I could blame that man who knocked on my parents door for sweeping my brother into stolen kisses in storm ridden nights. 

At the end of the day though wishes are always just that. Wishes. Dreams that are not impossible but are incapable. Because I know buried inside it is the shame households carry with them when their sons are pronounced gay ,it has always been the shame that traps those sons in a cold calculated embrace that makes the call a month later and tells me I never got to say hello let alone goodbye. It’s my fault for being ashamed when my friends called him slurs. It’s my fault that he didn’t think about safety he just enjoyed so as not to think of that building shame that towers over skyscrapers.

At least I know he did that. He enjoyed.

At least I have that cheap comfort to keep me warm and secure as his corpse lies cold and unstable.

**Author's Note:**

> First posted fic.👏💕✨
> 
> Pls don’t judge to harshly but I am open to criticism in order to help myself improve.
> 
> If confused the man who knocks is her brothers boyfriend who passed on AIDS to him through sex.
> 
> It’s only short but it’s 2am and I’m just in my feels and this is the result.✌️❤️😔 
> 
> Hope you liked it and do look into the AIDS pandemic to help educate yourself on a valid piece of history that we don’t mention enough. 
> 
> Bye


End file.
